Holy crap. I just endured the longest 36 hours of my life. Let’s catch you up to speed. I am currently on the East Coast (wrong coast) for Christmas because my parents refuse to move to California. On Thursday, my mom and I drove up to my brother’s place in New Jersey just outside of NYC to catch my best friend from high school’s play in the city. We arrived nice and early and then instead of taking the train, my beloved brother insisted on driving. So we drove. It took us 2 hours to reach Hoboken, NJ. Needless to say, we missed my friend’s play, which was the whole reason we headed up there in the first place.
We decided to go into the city for dinner so the night wasn’t a total bust and I finally got my yummy sushi! I was too hungry to snap a photo so you’ll just have to trust me when I say it was delicious: miso soup, seaweed salad and spicy scallop roll topped off with a scoop of green tea ice cream. The next morning we went to a tiny Italian bakery where I got a delicious egg and cheese sandwich on a fresh roll and a croissant for later. Again, was too busy scarfing this down to take a photo so sorry about that.
Then we were on our way out of godforesaken New Jersey to go back to MD for Christmas. Just as my mom and I were approaching our last hour in the car, we got the fatal call from my brother: “My car is broken down on 78 just outside of Harrisburg.” *Sigh* Just when the failed trip was almost over, disaster struck twice. My brother called the shop he takes his car to get fixed to come up his car and we turned around to head back to PA to pick him up. The goal was to arrive right when the truck arrived. My brother called at around 2 and we got to him at about 4 or 4:30. Here’s the conversations with the mechanic shop who was sending the tow truck:
My brother: Ya hi, this is Joseph Ned with a broken down car in PA on 78 west at mile marker 21.3 waiting on a tow truck. Ya, I called you guys at 1:30 and am just wondering where the truck is.
Assistant Stupid Jersey Girl (SJG): Listen sir, you need to stop yelling at me. There’s tons of traffic, I’ve had a tow truck trying to get out of New York for 3 hours.
Brother: What does the New York tow truck have to do with me? Can you please give me the number for the guy driving the truck so I can see where he is?
SJG: No, I don’t give out his number. Can you please hold? *Click*
This happened at least 3 times before she finally had the driver call my brother. My brother’s convos with the driver:
Driver: Ya, hi, where are you?
Brother: Ya, I’m in PA on west 78 at mile 21.
Driver: What’s the exit?
Brother: I’m not sure of the exit but it’s mile 21.
Driver: Oh alright, I’ll be right there.
After at least THREE more conversations where my brother repeatedly said he was in PENNSYLVANIA the driver called back and goes:
Driver: You’re in Jersey right
Brother: *Click*
THEN we call back the SJG Assistant at the office. It is now 5:30pm and we left my brother’s house at 11:30am. It takes 3.5 hours to drive back to my parents house and my brother has been waiting for a tow truck that was 2 hours away since 1:30pm. And NOW, the assistant is screaming at us on the phone to the point where neither my brother nor I can finish a sentence. After some bickering back and forth between she and my brother, I take the phone to figure out if the driver has any idea where he’s going:
SJG with a FREAKIN ATTITUDE: Don’t worry I just chewed his ass out.
Me: Umm, okay. I just need to understand why the driver drove around mile 21 on west 78 in New Jersey. I just looked at a map and mile 21 in New Jersey is in Bridgewater, which is at most 1 hour from Verona. I just don’t understand what he’s been doing the last 4 hours.
***Imagine her interrupting me every 4 words in the above passage*
SJG: Ma’am, listen to me *(In my head: hold the phone, am I on shit girls say right now? I know you didn’t just tell me to listen)* There’s a ton of traffic and we’ve been trying..
Me: I’m looking at the traffic on a map. There is none. There hasn’t been any all day. I’ve been on the highway for 5 hours. I’m just wondering why he thought he was going to New Jersey..
SJG: LISTEN, MA’AM..
Me: One, can you please stop yelling at me? Two, I’m the customer so please let me finish a sentence.
SJG: This guy is just such a re-…
Me: Listen. I need you to let me finish a sentence.
SJG: Okay (in a thick and irritated jersey accident like she’s the one stuck on the side of the road in Pennslyvania?!)
Me: Does the driver know where he’s going now and when can we expect him?
SJG: Hold on. Yes, he’s on his way and I told him to book it.
Me: Okay. Thank you.
At this point it was 5:20 and we were still on the side of the road so I drove us to the next exit to a rest stop and a McDonald’s. Trying to make the best of the situation:
Trying on Hats at the Rest Stop
Then we binged on glorious chicken selects, fries and other things at McDonald’s. After about 45 minutes we headed back to the car. 15 minutes after, God finally decided to stop spiting us and gave us our first break of the whole weekend:
There is a God!
I’ve never been so happy to see a tow truck in my life. After we made sure homeslice loaded my brother’s car safely, we drove back to MD and got home just after 8:30.
What a freakin 36 hours, but at least we are all home for Christmas eve AND my brother’s girlfriend made us a gazillion delicious holiday cookies and cupcakes.
Hope you all are enjoying time at home with your families!
Wishing you a very merry Christmas from my family to yours,
Bri
p.s. I just wrote this from my new MacBook Air!!! I am spoiled rotten and extremely grateful that Santa still makes visits to the Ned house!!! 
Tags: circles of idiots, dirty jerz
